Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, talks about Why Size Matters and why it’s not at all what you might think.
Does size matter?
I gotta be honest, this question bugs the hell out of me. It immediately sets up competition, the falseness that one thing is better than another, the idea that there can be a ‘right’ and a ‘wrong’.
It is an awful question that leads so many people to feeling really bad about themselves. Even if the answer is no, size doesn’t matter, the very existence of the question can lead some folk down a dark path of self doubt, and worse, self hate.
Size really doesn’t matter, however it’s our belief that size matters, that actually matters – if you get my drift.
There was a video going round the internet a few weeks back where different women, aged 18-50 were asked the question, Does size matter?
They were not asked ‘Does penis size matter’, but most of them took that to be the meaning of the question. There was a fairly even mix of answers. Some said yes, many said no. A few said it depends, or it just matters what you do with it.
On a very simple level, if you’re talking about penises, then that video pretty much sums it all up. Some people care about penis size, many don’t. Most are more concerned with connection and pleasure. That’s it.
However this question, Does size matter, this obsession with size, is just scratching the surface of something much more important.
Whether you’re talking about penises, breasts, muscles, labia, bellies, butts, thighs or anything else, we seem to have an unhealthy obsession with the size of the parts of our bodies and our bodies as a whole.
We love to judge ourselves and others based on if the size is ‘right’.
In the last couple of weeks I’ve had at least 3 men tell me that they were ashamed of their penises because they felt they were ‘too small’. This is a regular occurrence in my sessions and it breaks my heart.
I had a woman tell me that she’s never quite felt she was woman ‘enough’ because her breasts were ‘too small’.
On the other side of things I’ve had some men tell me that women had made rude comments about not wanting to have sex with them because their penises were ‘too big’.
I’ve also had several women tell me they were called sluts or some other derogatory term because they were big breasted.
What is the fucking obsession with size? Why do we have an idea that there is a ‘right’ size and a ‘wrong’ size? Why do we feel shame if we are not the ‘right’ size. Why do we shame others if they are not the size we prefer? Why do we listen to what anyone outside of us says and not just decide for ourselves what’s ok and what’s not. Why do we give our authority away to someone else?
‘Right’ size and ‘wrong’ size are arbitrary! What fits/looks good/gives pleasure/is preferred/feels good is different for everyone. One person’s ‘big’ is another person’s ‘small’. One person’s preference for small or large or whatever is perfectly OK! What society says is big or small now was different 50 years ago. It’s all made up!
Here is why size matters – or more accurately, why our beliefs about size matter and why we need to change them. Size matters because so many people are making themselves and others wrong, feeling shame, feeling not good enough because of how the think they ‘should’ be.
The obsession with size matters. The actual size, of any part of our bodies, does not matter. There is no right or wrong size. Yes, some people have preference, but preference for a particular size of breasts or penis doesn’t make the other sizes wrong. Your body is not wrong!
Please don’t look at other people’s bodies, either in real life or especially not in films or porn, and think that someone else’s body is better/worse or more right/wrong than yours.
All bodies are beautiful and perfect just as they are. All penises, breasts, muscles, labia, bellies, butts, thighs or anything else are just fine. If you can learn to love your body and your body parts just as they are, chances are you’ll attract the perfect person to you that also loves you and your body just the way it is.
Please go look in the mirror at your gorgeous naked body. Look how sensual and desirable you are! Do a little wiggle, shake your booty and stroke your delightful naked body all over. Tell your body that it is the perfect size and that you love it just as it is.
If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, then email me at email@example.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!
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Rebecca works with individuals and couples to help them have better sex lives. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sex life into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!