Feb 142017
 

Valentines DayRebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, talks about the importance of self-love and developing self-love practices.

Fuck Valentine’s Day. What a crazy idea! A greeting card company makes up a holiday so that people in relationships feel pressured to buy things for each other and people who are not in relationships feel isolated or shit about themselves.

Whether you’re in a relationship or not, the person you should be celebrating love with is yourself. Without proper self-love in place, there is no other relationship. No other sustainable relationship.

Self-love is the foundation for any other relationship.

Self-love is the garden bed in which we grow the fruits we can share with another.

Self-love, self-awareness and self-confidence. Without these any other relationship becomes a struggle, a falsehood, a sinking ship, a lie.

The Human Wound

The human wound, no matter where you’re from or how you were raised, is ‘I’m not enough’ or ‘I’m not good enough’. On a cosmic level that’s because we’ve forgotten that we ARE Source, God, Grace, the All-That-Is. We’ve forgotten that we are waves of the ocean of consciousness. We’ve forgotten that we ARE divinity and we are always trying to wake ourselves up. To re-member. To become whole again.

On top of that, our society reinforces this perceived separation every chance it gets. It tells us we need to be thinner, richer, smarter, whiter and so on. For many reasons, we hand over our power to something outside of us and believe, even more deeply, that we’re not enough unless we get/do/be/have the things someone outside of us (who has also forgotten) tells us we need.

Lack of self-love strips us of our power.

Learning to love yourself is a practice. It takes time to build the self-love muscles. Imagine going to the gym every day to get strong and build muscles only to leave the gym and be told that muscles are bad and wrong. This is sort of what it’s like trying to build self-love muscles. We are constantly submerged in a society that tells us that to love ourselves is selfish and bad.

Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare. Audre Lorde

A foundation of love

Let me tell you something. Without a foundation of self-love, there is no other love. If you don’t love yourself, if you don’t feel your worth, your value, then you are always a beggar for love. You are always coming to another half full, begging them to fill you up. When you learn to fill your own love cup you are never a beggar to love. You are rich and full and abundant and it is sustainable because it comes from within.

Self-love takes practice

Since we live in a world that wants to tear us down, that doesn’t value self-love, in fact, needs us to NOT love ourselves to sell us shit we don’t need, self-love is really an act of rebellion. And it’s needed now more than ever. On your road to self-love there will be obstacles. Some days will be harder than others. That’s ok. Be gentle with yourself. Love yourself through the difficult days. Extra self-love is needed on those days.

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. Lucille Ball

Here are 10 ways you can practice self-love:

  1. Look into your own eyes in a mirror and say I love you. Say it a few times. See how it feels. Don’t worry if it feels odd or uncomfortable at first. Do it anyway. Open your heart a little bit and say it again. If it feels awkward try again the next day. Do it every day until it feels really good.
  2. Listen to your body’s needs. Your body is giving you information all the time. What is it telling you? What is it asking for? Does it need more exercise? A breath of fresh air? Would it like different food or to go dancing? Often you know very well what your body is telling you and you override it. Don’t do that. Love your body.
  3. Take yourself on a date. It can be fancy or not. It can be a daytime date or a night time date. You can go out where there are other people or go somewhere you can be alone. Do it with the intention to spend time with yourself. Get to know yourself a bit better. Enjoy yourself.
  4. Mind how you talk to yourself! Your words cast spells. Everything you think and say about yourself creates a vibration that goes into your body, your cells, your DNA and actually shifts your physiology and therefore your reality.
  5. Find at least one thing you appreciate about yourself every day. Ideally write these appreciations down somewhere. Keep them in a special journal or notebook. Then on days you are struggling to appreciate yourself you can look back at ones you’ve written on easier days. You can write lofty things such as ‘I appreciate that I’m kind and generous’ or simple things like ‘I appreciate that today I’m still breathing’ or ‘I appreciate that I make great toast’. It really doesn’t matter so long as you really mean it.
  6. Get outside in nature! Whether you consciously feel it or not, being out in nature resets your energy system. Go for a walk in the woods or along a stream. Breathe in some fresh air. Get up close to some trees and feel how deep their roots go. Allow your roots to go deep too. Stand with your back up against a tree and lean in, ask for some love or just feel it’s strength.
  7. Soak in a high vibe bath. Put some Dead Sea salts or essential oils or flower petals in a freshly drawn bath. Light some candles. Yes, I know it sounds clichéd, but it really works. Sink into the hot water and take some deep breaths. Focus on your out breath and let shit go! Bathe with the intention of letting go and relaxing or of soaking in the magic of whatever you’ve added to the bath.
  8. Read something that makes you feel good. Just one paragraph or page will do. Read some poetry or a self-help book or something funny. Anything that makes you feel good, that opens your heart, that reminds you that you are an amazing being.
  9. Practice sitting in silence for a few minutes every day. Sit or lie somewhere comfortable and set a timer – even 2-5 minutes will do. You might find when you start this practice that your mind thinks it’s time to get busy and throw thoughts at you. That’s fine. Just don’t pay them any attention. Let them float past like clouds in the sky. Let them go as quickly as they arrive. After a while they will stop trying to get your attention.
  10. Masturbate! Be mindful of your intentions when you do. Whatever you are feeling or holding in your mind as you raise arousal will get increased. If you are feeling shame or guilt or fear, then those will get reinforced. If you are feeling love for yourself, if your heart is open and you’re masturbating as a path to self-pleasure, then you will be reinforcing your value and worth. 

Self-love, self-awareness, self confidence… these are more important now than ever before! The practice of self-love is absolutely revolutionary. Please practice it every day, in whatever way you can.

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Valentines Day
Sep 102016
 

Your Sex Life Doesn't Exist In A Vacuum

Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, explores the idea that your sex life doesn’t exist in a vacuum, it sits in the container of your life.

Our sex life doesn’t exist outside the realms of our daily life and vice versa. In order to truly, fully explore who we are as sexual beings, we also have to look at and address other areas of our lives. Our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual selves are all interlinked. Our sexual self is the thread that runs through all of these areas.

If you follow me on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram, you’ll know that I often talk about or post photos about health, going to the gym, eating well, meditation and being outside in nature. This is because these are all crucial to your sexual well-being.

I’d love to hear your comments about this and the video below. Please email me at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me your thoughts!

 


Rebecca LowrieRebecca specialises in men’s sexuality and works with individuals and couples to help them expand their ideas and experiences of sexuality. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sexuality into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!

If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, email Rebecca at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

Aug 032016
 

Nurturing YourselfRebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, talks about doing something to nurture yourself if you’ve had a tricky day!

It can be really easy to let a tricky or difficult day get the better of you and throw you off centre. It can put you in a huff, shift your otherwise healthy perspective and generally make you feel shit! If that’s not somehow kept in check it can roll over into the next day… and the next… and the next.

If it happens often it can have a knock on effect to our health, our relationships and our libido. Rather than go to bed with everything feeling overwhelming, sticky and generally crap, do something – anything – to nurture yourself and help get you feeling grounded and centred again.

I’m not saying you should try to instantly shift your mood or ignore your feelings. Feel your feelings, process them, sit with them. And also do something to nurture yourself along the way.

It doesn’t have to be fancy or expensive. One thing that really helps me to get grounded and centred again is to get to my nearest woods and sit in nature for a while. If that’s not your thing, try something else. It might be reading your favourite book or poem, going dancing, meditating, doing some yoga, working out at a gym or a million other things.

 


Rebecca LowrieRebecca specialises in men’s sexuality and works with individuals and couples to help them expand their ideas and experiences of sexuality. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sexuality into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!

If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, email Rebecca at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

Jul 182016
 

rebeccalowrie.com


Rebecca LowrieRebecca specialises in men’s sexuality and works with individuals and couples to help them expand their ideas and experiences of sexuality. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sexuality into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!

If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, email Rebecca at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

 

Jul 082016
 

The Importance Of How You Welcome SomeoneRebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, talks about the importance of how you welcome someone to be intimate with you.

Whether you’re chatting with a view to a date, asking for business or trying to seduce someone, how you welcome them will set the tone for what is to follow. This might be in an initial email, a message on a dating app or meeting a person at a party. How you welcome someone doesn’t apply just the first time you have contact either. It applies each time you meet up with someone or start a conversation with someone.

In this video, Rebecca talks about the importance of welcoming someone and how it makes a big difference to your ongoing interactions.

 

 

 


Rebecca LowrieRebecca specialises in men’s sexuality and works with individuals and couples to help them expand their ideas and experiences of sexuality. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sexuality into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!

If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, email Rebecca at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

Jun 012016
 

Who is your true sexual self?Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, ponders questions about who we are as sexual beings.

Most of us have been conditioned to believe there is a right or wrong around sexuality, sexual expression and who we are as sexual beings. However, apart from consent, that is not true. Assuming consent is in place, there is no inherent right or wrong way to be sexual, to express your sexuality. There is no inherent way to enjoy pleasure and intimacy.

Most cultures, religions, societies, families, etc have created rules and regulations, social mores and laws about what is and isn’t ok. We try to fit into these rules so that we feel like we belong. Because it doesn’t feel safe to not belong. Fear of being ostracised, left out, made fun of or worse, left to die, causes us to dampen down who we are. We shut off our natural urges, our natural desires. Worse, we make our natural urges and desires wrong.

We get infected with the thought that there is a ‘right’ way to be sexual and if we aren’t that way inclined, then we are bad, wrong, guilty and worthless.

So, who would you be if you had no conditioning about sex and sexuality? If you had never been taught that there was a right or wrong way to express your desires, how would you express them? If all consensual expressions of pleasure, intimacy and sexuality were ‘allowed’, how would you and your life change?


Rebecca LowrieRebecca specialises in men’s sexuality and works with individuals and couples to help them expand their ideas and experiences of sexuality. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sexuality into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!

If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, email Rebecca at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

Mar 282016
 

Speaking Your Truth From Your HeartRebecca Lowrie shares her new #MeditationMonday video, Speaking Your Truth From Your Heart

Welcome to #MeditationMondays #4, Speaking Your Truth From Your Heart.

This particular mediation was inspired by someone who commented on a previous #MediationMonday video, asking how to connect to your heart so that you can speak your truth, even in a difficult situation.

This mediation is good for you if

  • You need to have a difficult conversation
  • You struggle to stay connected to your heart when speaking your truth
  • You want to feel empowered to say what needs to be said

I really hope you enjoy it. If you do, please pop over to YouTube and give it a ‘thumbs up’ or email me at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me what other meditations you’d like to see. Happy meditating!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Rebecca LowrieRebecca specialises in men’s sexuality and works with individuals and couples to help them expand their ideas and experiences of sexuality. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sexuality into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!

If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, email Rebecca at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

Mar 142016
 

#MeditationMondays #2, Using Your SensesRebecca Lowrie shares her new #MeditationMondays video, Using Your Senses To Be Aware Of Your World.

Welcome to #MeditationMondays #2, Using Your Senses To Be Aware Of Your World. In this meditation you are guided to tune in to five of your senses; touch, sound, smell, taste and sight.

Relax and unwind as you go on a journey to experience your world, your surroundings, just as they are, in the present moment.

This meditation is good for you if you want to

  • Practice being more present
  • Fine tune your senses
  • Be guided and held as you relax
  • Experience the sensuality of the present moment
  • Learn to cultivate more pleasure and connection

I really hope you enjoy it. If you do, please pop over to YouTube and give it a ‘thumbs up’ or email me at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me what other meditations you’d like to see. Happy meditating!


Rebecca LowrieRebecca specialises in men’s sexuality and works with individuals and couples to help them expand their ideas and experiences of sexuality. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sexuality into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!

If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, email Rebecca at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

Mar 132016
 

Because of our wisdomRebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, reads the poem ‘Because Of Our Wisdom’ by Hafiz on Anchor.fm.

I discovered the poetry of Hafiz about 10 years ago, right around the same time I started exploring and working with conscious sexuality.

Hafiz was a 14th century Persian poet, writer, mystic and spiritual teacher. His writings explore love, life and intimacy, in particular with intimacy with the Divine. His beautiful, thought-provoking poetry has been known to inspire other writers such as Emerson, Nietzsche and apparently even Arthur Conan Doyle.

I have been trying out the new Anchor.fm app for the last couple of weeks and have already made some incredible connections there. The app is sort of like Twitter except it’s all audio instead of writing. I was inspired one morning to read some Hafiz and wanted to share it with you here. I hope you enjoy it!

Because Of Our Wisdom

In many parts of this world water is

Scarce and precious.

People sometimes have to walk

A great distance

Then carry heavy jugs upon their

Heads.

Because of our wisdom, we will travel

Far for love.

All movement is a sign of

Thirst.

Most speaking really says,

‘I am hungry to know you.’

Every desire of your body is holy;

Every desire of your body is

Holy.

Dear one,

Why wait until you re dying

To discover that divine

Truth?


Rebecca Lowrie

Rebecca specialises in men’s sexuality and works with individuals and couples to help them expand their ideas and experiences of sexuality. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sexuality into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!

If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, email Rebecca at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

Feb 252016
 

Kindness and compassionRebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, talks about how kindness and compassion can open your heart and bring back lost intimacy.

I recently had a client who told me that he and his wife had grown apart over the years and that for a long time he had noticed that he was feeling quite ‘hard-hearted’ towards her. Their intimacy had dried up, there was little to no affection any more and he wanted to find a way to turn things around.

After he told me a bit about their relationship, what he loved and what he missed, we discussed ways that he could start to create the relationship that he really wanted.

We talked about how important it was to not suddenly go back to his wife with demands or to even ask anything of her at all for now. The first thing he really needed to do was focus on himself, on his own heart that had hardened. Ultimately we can’t ever change anyone else, we can only work on ourselves.

In order for him to start to heal and melt his heart, he would need to take small, easy actions each day, that didn’t require his wife to respond in any particular way. We talked about the importance of kindness and compassion in relationships and how he could bring more of that to himself and to his wife.

We are often quick to criticise ourselves or our partners, without realising the impact that has. We expect the other person to be on our wavelength, to want what we want or to agree with us without taking a moment to see how their day has been or to have compassion for what’s going on for them in that moment.

Consciously adding acts of kindness and compassion to your day and to your relationship are simple, powerful ways to start to shift things when they get stuck or to add refreshing, loving energy to a stagnant or stale partnership.

What are some ways that you can bring more kindness to your partner’s day. How can you make their life a little bit easier? What pressures can you reduce or remove from their day? What is a simple, open-hearted action you could take to help ease your partner’s load?

 

Also, if you want to rekindle intimacy, don’t go straight for sexual intimacy. Take time to rebuild trust and affection. Sexual intimacy will be a natural result of renewed trust and connection.

As mentioned in the video, carefully and consciously offer some soft, heart-infused touch or affection without any expectation or requirement from your partner.

If you’re able to, I would always recommend talking things through with your partner. If they’re not open to that or you don’t quite feel able, slowly and gently find ways to let them know that you’d like to re-establish connection and intimacy, in ways that don’t force or require them to do anything.

They may take a little longer to get on board or to melt through the layers of disconnection that may have built up over the years. Remember to be kind and compassionate – with yourself and with your partner!


Rebecca Lowrie

Rebecca specialises in men’s sexuality and works with individuals and couples to help them expand their ideas and experiences of sexuality. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sexuality into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!

If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, email Rebecca at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

Feb 142016
 

What do women and men really want in the bedroom?Rebecca Lowrie explores the question, What do women and men really want in the bedroom and in relationships?

I recently put out a question on social media, asking people what was the single most challenging thing they were experiencing in their lives and in their sex lives.

I had a variety of responses, however one thing stood out. Both men and women were asking…

‘What do men and women want – both in the bedroom and in relationships?’

It’s a question many of my clients have asked me over the years so I want to take a closer look.

Over the last 10 years I’ve worked with thousands of men and women who were looking to improve their sex lives, learn more about themselves sexually or how to make intimacy better.

I’ve had the privilege and opportunity to hear first hand from many different people, from many different backgrounds and walks of life, what they are looking for in a lover and in a relationship.

However, before I share some of that information, there’s something else vitally important to consider.

Even more important than me telling you what someone else wants, it’s crucial that you first know what YOU want.

Before you wonder what someone else wants, do you know what you want?

  • Do you know what you like in the bedroom?
  • Do you know where and how you like to be touched?
  • Do you know if you want to use sex toys or try something kinky or make love outdoors?
  • Do you know what kind of relationship you want?
  • Do you want something light and non-committal?
  • Are you looking to settle down and perhaps start a family?
  • Do you want to be with someone who likes to travel or makes you laugh or reads French poetry?
  • Do you want to spend every minute together or only see each other 3 days a week?

Some of these things you might have explored in previous relationships and so already have a good idea of what you like and don’t like. Some things you might be waiting to try with the right person or at the right time. Great!

Once you have some ideas of what you like and don’t like and what you want and don’t want, the next thing to consider is

How do you share and discuss these things with your partner or lover?

Learning to communicate clearly, openly and honestly is crucial in any relationship – whether it’s a one-night stand, a long term relationship and even in your non romantic relationships. Remember, communicating well is just as much about being able to speak your truth as it is actively listening to what your partner has to say.

Knowing your own self, your own desires and needs and likes and dislikes is the first step. Being able to communicate them and also hear your partner’s is the second step.

That’s great, I hear you say, but I still want to know what women or men are looking for in the bedroom!

Here’s the thing about the ‘what do men or women want in bed or in a relationship’ question. It’s way too broad!

I don’t subscribe to the ‘men want this’ and ‘women want that’ camp. Saying that all men want X and all women want Y is outdated thinking. No two men are alike just as no two women are alike.

It’s much more important and fulfilling to take each person as they come, without preconceived ideas of what they might like according to their gender. Explore the unique landscape of their desires as you get to know them. Make no assumptions and you may find all sorts of treasure waiting for you!

That said, there ARE some general things that most people, regardless of gender, are looking for – both in the bedroom and in a relationship:

  • Safety, trust and respect – Opening yourself up either in a sexual situation or in a relationship can feel very vulnerable. In order to do that, most people want to feel safe with their lover or partner. That includes emotional and mental safety as well as physical safety.
  • Trust flows from this sense of safety. Without trust there is no deepening or growth in the relationship. Without that, a relationship will stagnate and fester.
  • Respect is simply a way of looking after each other, of being careful with each other on all levels. Respect ultimately comes from within, so you must have self respect in order to respect others.
  • Presence – Everyone wants to feel like their lover is fully there, in their bodies, in the room and in the moment with whatever is going on. No one wants to feel like their lover is thinking about business or what they’re going to have for dinner! Practice cultivating presence yourself and see how your life improves! [Click here to get your ‘Cultivating Presence For Intimacy And Pleasure’ audio mediation for FREE!]
  • Connection – Do we ‘click’ with each other? Is there a natural attraction of some kind – besides just sexual? Do we flow easily together? Is there chemistry between us? Do we have enough similar interests?
  • Intimacy – Ok, here’s a cheesy but true thing – intimacy is ‘in-to-me-see’. It is allowing yourself to be fully present, to be truly seen, warts and all. It is also allowing yourself to fully witness your partner, warts and all, in each new moment, with an open heart. It is the thing we all most desire and that we’re most afraid of.  Ironically, we fear that we won’t be loveable when really we already are love itself!
  • Pleasure – Whether in the bedroom or just generally in life, most people have an innate desire to experience pleasure. What that means to each person will of course be different. Get to know what brings you pleasure. There are big pleasures like going on holiday, seeing an old friend or fabulous sexy times with a lover. Pay just as much attention to the smaller pleasures – the taste of a single raspberry on your tongue, the breath of your lover on your neck or the warmth of a winter blanket.

Hot fudge sundaes

At a very basic level, everyone is looking for the same things in the bedroom and in a relationship.

Think of those things as the foundation, the vanilla ice cream base in a hot fudge sundae. On top of that you can sprinkle all the other delights that What do women want in the bedroom?your heart and body desires – walks on the beach, spanking, kissing, dancing, cuddles – the hot fudge sauce and sprinkles that make your own unique and delicious Hot Fudge Sundae of sex and relationships!

The cherry on top is that as you get clearer about what you want to experience and have to offer, you will attract lovers and partners who like the same as well as bringing their own new flavours.

Be your full, true amazingly magnificent, creative self and that is what will attract your perfect lover or partner.


 

Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual AlchemistRebecca specialises in men’s sexuality and works with individuals and couples to help them expand their ideas and experiences of sexuality. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sexuality into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!

If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, email me at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

Feb 022016
 

Wisdom for your sex lifeRebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, shares how to improve your life and your sex life using ancient Toltec wisdom from the book, The Four Agreements.

One of the things I’m passionate about is that our sex lives don’t exist in a vacuum, they exist within the context of our lives. Sounds obvious, but I sometimes get clients who think that I can show them a magic way to have an amazing sex life without addressing other areas of their lives. I will be writing more on this in the coming months.

Today I want to share with you a fantastic book that I think helps guide us to live more easily in the world, thus helping us to have a better connection to ourselves and our partners. This in turn will lead to better life skills which translate directly to the bedroom.

The book is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. I first read this book about the time it came out in 1997. I was thrilled at how simple and yet deeply transformative it was – and still is.

wisdom for your sex life

The Four Agreements are ancient Toltec principles. As you become aware of them, and start to integrate them into your life, you will no doubt notice profound transformation in yourself, your relationships and how you live your life.

Let’s take a closer look at them and how they might affect your life and your sex life too.

The Four Agreements

  1. Be impeccable with your word.
  • Speak with integrity.
  • Say only what you mean.
  • Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.
  • Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

The words we speak are potent and have more impact than most of us are ever taught. How we speak, the words we use and our intention behind them creates spells. Think about it – we literally ‘spell’ words and speaking them is like casting those spells.

Whether we’re talking to ourselves, our partners, our work colleagues or even on social media, our words are powerful.

Be aware of what you’re spelling/speaking. If you want to live an easier, happier, richer, more fulfilled, more intimate life, then speak words to that.

When speaking with partners and lovers, and especially with yourself, be mindful of what you say and how you say it. Be clear, true and honest. If you are angry, find a way to dispel some of the energy and emotion before you speak so that you can be clear and not say things you might regret later.

Be mindful of your words and how you use them. Notice how different you feel and how the people around you respond.

  1. Don’t take anything personally.
  • Nothing others do is because of you.
  • What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.
  • When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

This is absolutely crucial and can be difficult to remember.

Think of it this way, everyone you meet or come across has a history, a past, or even something that happened that morning, which often informs how they move through the world.

We are all a complex product of our ancestry, our childhood, our thoughts, habits and conditioning. It takes patience, practice and awareness to really implement this agreement into your life, and it is totally worth it!

Combined with the other agreements, this helps you to be more present and more clear in your relationships.

Did your partner say no when you wanted to be intimate? Please don’t take that personally. Yes, of course you need to review the situation and take responsibility for whatever you need to take responsibility for, but look deeper.

Is your partner particularly tired, stressed or preoccupied? Could you offer to listen to what’s going on for them instead?

If you do your best to not take what appears as rejection personally, you open up the possibility to see what is really going on and that is intimacy – which is ultimately what we all are seeking.

  1. Don’t make assumptions.
  • Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.
  • Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.
  • With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Like the previous agreement, this is crucial to being clear in your life and relationships. Clarity allows us to see the bigger picture and to make informed choices.

Don’t assume that you know why your partner is feeling a certain way. Don’t assume that they will respond in a certain way. Treat each moment anew. Unless you’ve taken the time to find out, you don’t know what’s really going on.

Even when things look or seem obvious, give someone the benefit of the doubt. Explore deeper. Most of the time people are just focused on their own lives and their own problems and are not trying to trip you up or reject you.

It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable, to share our deeper thoughts, feelings and desires. It takes time to build intimacy and trust. So don’t assume anything, be open to what is and see how that creates more understanding and ultimately more pleasure and intimacy in your relationships.

  1. Always do your best.
  • Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick.
  • Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

When I first read this book and came across this particular agreement, I interpreted it to mean always push yourself hard. Obviously that is not at all what it means.

It’s much more simple than that. It just means, do your best in each moment, whatever ‘best’ is at that time.

Sometimes our best is outstanding and phenomenal. Sometimes our best is mediocre in comparison, but this is not about comparison. It’s about being true to yourself and the present moment.

What is your best right here, right now?

Anything less than your best in each moment is destructive. It can destroy confidence, patience and self-love for starters.

If you find yourself in a situation thinking, ‘Oh, I could have done better’, don’t kick yourself. Just allow yourself to notice, increase your awareness and then next time choose more carefully. Use your new awareness for conscious growth and expansion.

Conclusion

As I said before, these Four Agreements are simple and yet extremely powerful and potent. Together they are significant principles that will improve your life and therefore, your sex life too.

I’d recommend printing them out and putting them somewhere you can be reminded of them daily. Put them in your phone or wherever you will see them frequently.

Practice them daily and watch how your life and your relationships transform. 


If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, email me at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual AlchemistRebecca specialises in men’s sexuality and works with individuals and couples to help them expand their ideas and experiences of sexuality. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sexuality into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!


Jan 252016
 

5 Steps To Being A Better LoverRebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, wants to help YOU be a better lover, and has a new eBook for you to do just that!

One of the questions I get asked the most is, ‘Can you teach me to be a better lover?’ People from all over the world, of all different ages and experiences want to know how to please their lovers, how to get more pleasure and intimacy out of their erotic experiences, and how to feel confident as a lover.

The great news is that YES, I can teach you how to be a better lover. 

Some people want to learn how to be a better lover through private sessions with me. I absolutely love, love, LOVE those sessions!

Learning to be a better lover is usually a process. It involves learning to be present, doing some self-enquiry, healing and letting go of ‘stuff’.

It often takes practice and patience to let go of old conditioning and allow your True Lover to emerge, to give that part of yourself permission to be free and to explore. It’s an exciting process that always leads to deeper satisfaction and fulfilment, more connection and intimacy and, of course, hotter sex!

However, not everyone can get to me for a private session and one of the things I am passionate about is empowering YOU! Soooooo… I’ve written an eBook (that includes 2 audios) so that you can learn to be a better lover from wherever you are, in your own time, at your own pace.

The 5 Steps To Being A Better Lover – Tonight eBook includes:

  • The 10 page eBook bursting with erotic information
  • Your 5-Point Action PlanTheSexualAlchemist.com
  • Practical tips for putting the plan in motion
  • 3 extra action bonus tips
  • A checklist to keep you on track
  • Plus two audios to support and guide you

Get '5 Steps To Being A Better Lover-Tonight!'

It is my deepest hope and desire that it will inspire and educate you and help you to be the very best lover you can be. I hope that it will help you to find your joy and pleasure as well as build your erotic confidence.


If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, email me at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual AlchemistRebecca specialises in men’s sexuality and works with individuals and couples to help them expand their ideas and experiences of sexuality. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sexuality into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!


 

Jan 142016
 

Rebecca Lowrie at 50

Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, reflects on turning 50 and what that means for the next 50 years.

What were you doing on New Year’s Eve this year? Partying, spending time with family, reflecting on the past year and thinking about your year ahead?

I was celebrating my 50th birthday.

You could say I was equally ready and thrilled and also a little bit shocked. I mean, 50!

Sounds so old in some ways and yet I feel like I’m just warming up! There’s so much I still want to accomplish and do and create and experience.

Just Getting Started

It fascinates me and gives me hope that great people such as Louise Hay and Steven Covey didn’t start their life’s work until later in their 50’s.

I often get emails from men saying, I’m having this or that problem, and I’m in my 50’s, so it’s probably my age.

No! It’s usually nothing to do with your age! There are plenty of people our age who are perfectly healthy with great sex lives.

Whatever it is, it’s more likely down to the culmination of your conditioning, thoughts, habits and beliefs. I can help you clear, heal and transform those!

Maybe if we believe that we go downhill with age, that’s what we create.

I choose to believe that I’m going to age like a fine wine or a smelly cheese – the older the better!

I feel excited and energised about turning 50. I feel like now I can really focus in on making a difference in the world. I know myself so much better now than I ever did when I was younger.

Dr John Demartini RebeccaLowrie.com 50

In May of 2015 I did a workshop with Dr John Demartini. He asked us what our 100-year goal was. What legacy did we want to leave? How did we want the world to be different because we were in it?

That question has stayed with me ever since. It’s such a big question! Why aren’t we asked that when we’re younger and looking for direction and purpose?

I don’t think I have a complete answer to it yet, but here’s what I’ve got so far:

My 100 Year Goals

  • In 100 years’ time, when I’ve been dead for about 50 years (I’m planning to live to 100!), I would like humanity to have evolved beyond fear, shame and guilt around sexuality.
  • I would like the majority of the population to feel liberated and free to own, enjoy, celebrate and fully embrace their sexual nature, their sexual selves.
  • I would like humanity to have a much deeper understanding and experience of sexual energy and of their own true power.
  • I would like there to be a much deeper understanding of how our sexual energy is meant for so much more than the sex we currently know and I would like to have obliterated the limited belief for many that sex = penetration.
  • I would like humanity to be living much more authentically as a whole, in harmony and balance with the self, each other, nature, animals, the stars the planets and to understand how their sexual energy plays a crucial role in that.
  • I would like humanity to understand, fully and deeply, that we must own and accept all of who we are, our light and our dark, our hero and our villain, our sinner and our saint  in order to live our truth, in order to be really present and authentic, in order to create nourishing relationships.
  • Ultimately, I would like to have done my part to help heal what I believe is the greatest human wound, the ‘I’m not enough’ or ‘I’m not good enough’ wound.

RebeccaLowrie.com 50Mistakes And Wisdom

Thankfully, if I’m going to live to 100, I have another 50 years to create and leave my legacy. In some ways it doesn’t feel like nearly enough time. I mentioned that to a friend recently. She pointed out that 50 years ago it was illegal to be gay in many countries and states and now, in many places, we have marriage equality finally blossoming.

So if I have another 50 years, that means I have my whole life to live over again! Only this time I have the added advantage of having already made a whole bunch of mistakes. This time I can avoid those particular mistakes and make some brand new ones. Hopefully that will help me learn quicker. Also, I don’t have the same fear of mistakes and failure as I used to.

Since I’m starting this part of my life with some experience and wisdom under my belt, I can make different choices moving forward. I can make choices that nurture my soul instead of hurt or squash it. I can be more conscious about who I hang around with, what I eat and how I spend my time.

I am so grateful for the glorious, messy, wonderful, painful and very rich 50 years I’ve already had, and I can’t wait to see what the next 50 years bring.

RebeccaLowrie.com 50

RebeccaLowrie.com 50

 


If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, email me at rebecca@rebeccalowrie.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual AlchemistRebecca specialises in men’s sexuality and works with individuals and couples to help them expand their ideas and experiences of sexuality. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sexuality into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!


 

Nov 132015
 

Rebecca LowrieRebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, talks about being a finalist for the Somatic Sex Educator Of The Year at the Sexual Freedom Awards!

Just a few short weeks ago I received a text letting me know that I’d been nominated and selected as a finalist for the Somatic Sex Educator Of The Year Award. I was shocked and completely thrilled!

The Sexual Freedom Awards have been around in some form or other since 1994. They went through a big change in the last couple of years, with new people taking the helm and changing the judging procedure. Over the last 21 years they have honoured sexual pioneers from all areas of the sexuality industry, from activists to strippers, sex educators, burlesque stars, publicists to bloggers and many more.

This year was the first year of having the specific category of Somatic Sex Educator and three of us were chosen as finalists. The fabulous Betty Martin, the delightful Matthias Shwenteck and me!

The awards are particularly known for having a beautiful, golden flying penis statue as the award. They are especially made in Bali, just for this event. (See photo below)

The Sexual Freedom Awards promote excellence in erotic performance and sexual services and celebrate pioneers in the field of sexuality. The proceeds of the Awards ceremony are used to fund the work of the Outsiders Trust – a charity, which supports disabled people to find partners.

On the night, the wonderful Betty Martin won the golden flying penis award in my category. Betty has been a sexual pioneer for over 30 years and absolutely deserved to win. There have been many amazing finalists and winners over the years and I am deeply honoured to be among them now.

I had an absolutely wonderful evening hanging out with some of the brightest sparks of the sexual world – many of whom I’m fortunate enough to call my friends.

Find out more about the Outsider’s Trust here>>>

Full list of finalists and winners here>>>

Rebecca Lowrie, Sexual Freedom Awards

With Beth Wallace from Bliss Festival

Rebecca Lowrie, Sexual Freedom Awards

With the lovely Arian Bloodwood

Rebecca Lowrie, Sexual Freedom Awards

Giant photo of me as they spoke about my work.

Rebecca Lowrie, Sexual Freedom Awards

The coveted golden flying penis award!

Rebecca Lowrie, Sexual Freedom Awards

Another giant photo of me as they talked about the finalists.

Rebecca Lowrie, Sexual Freedom Awards

With Beth Wallace of Bliss Festival and Pandora Blake, Publicist of the Year!

SFA.8

With Katie Sarra, one of the judges and organisers and Seani Love, winner of Sex Worker of the Year award!

SFA.9

Slottie The Slut Machine – an incredible burlesque performer!

Rebecca Lowrie, Sexual Freedom Awards

An amazingly talented and saucy teddy bear!

Nov 092015
 

The 5 Most Powerful Ways To Expand Your Sexual Pleasure

Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, talks about her upcoming online Bootcamp: The 5 Most Powerful Ways To Expand Your Sexual Pleasure.

As you may know, I recently put out a survey, asking you how I could best serve you in the new year. I am always interested to hear what you need most and how I can best be of service to your sexual growth and expansion.

The number one thing that you told me you were interested in was Expanding Sexual Pleasure. Almost everyone who responded to the survey said this was one of their priorities and one of the things they really wanted help and support with. I was delighted with this information and immediately started to create a way to help you Expand Your Sexual Pleasure.

**UPDATE: The 1.5 hour recording of this Bootcamp is now available to purchase in the shop. Click here to find out more>>>

I’m delighted to announce the first ever Sexual Alchemy Bootcamp: The 5 Most Powerful Ways To Expand Your Sexual Pleasure!

Date: Tuesday 10th November, 2015

Time: 7-8:30pm GMT

Where: Any place you have access to a computer and the internet!

Cost: £18 

Bookings for this Bootcamp are now closed. Click here to purchase the recording of this Bootcamp>>>

We will spend an hour and a half together exploring and experiencing the things I believe are the 5 most powerful ways to expand your sexual pleasure. You will be able to interact with me via a live chat box so that I know how you’re doing with each of the exercises. Obviously you will be in the safety and privacy of your own home, so you can even attend the Bootcamp in your pajamas or totally naked if you wish!

Don’t worry if you can’t attend the Bootcamp. It is being recorded and will be available to purchase in the shop a week or so after it’s broadcast.

I look forward to sharing an evening of fun and learning about expanding your sexual pleasure with you!


Empower Your Erection


If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, email me at rebecca@thesexualalchemist.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual AlchemistRebecca works with individuals and couples to help them expand their ideas and experiences of sexuality. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sex life into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!

 

Oct 122015
 

Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, wants to know what videos she can make to help you with your sexual growth and expansion.

Last week I posted a survey asking you how I could best serve your sexual growth. I was delighted to have 70 responses to the survey and have learned a lot about what you need and would like from me in the coming months. One of the things that really stood out was that a lot of people would like me to produce more videos. So here’s a little video I made to find out more about the videos you’d like to see.

I’d love to hear what you’d like from future videos, so please either comment in the comment space below the video on YouTube or email me at rebecca@thesexualalchemist.com with your suggestions, thoughts and wishes. I can’t wait to hear from you!

P.S. The survey is still open if you would like to add your two cents worth! Click here to go to the survey…


Empower Your Erection


If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, email me at rebecca@thesexualalchemist.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

If you enjoyed this video, please give it a ‘thumbs up’ over on YouTube, leave me a lovely comment and share freely with your friends and followers. Thanks so much!

Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual AlchemistRebecca works with individuals and couples to help them expand their ideas and experiences of sexuality. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sex life into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!

Sep 142015
 

Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, shares 5 books that can help you step into your full sexual power by learning about being a conscious Dominant.

A long time ago I worked as a massage therapist and healer at a charity for people with disabilities. When I first started working there I noticed a strange trend. For 3 or 4 weeks at a time, I would get clients coming in for sessions with the same issue, illness or disability. I’d learn a lot about that particular disability or illness and then within 3 or 4 weeks, there would be a different trend.

The same has been happening recently in my current practice. A couple of months or so ago, many of the men who were coming for sessions were feeling a bit lost sexually and needed some help to find their path again.

Then I had a bunch of men who needed a boost to their sexual confidence and to be reconnected to their intuitive sexual selves.

Most recently I’ve seen a large number of men who, in order to step fully into their sexual power, needed to explore, reclaim and celebrate their Dominant sexual selves.

Since Dominance seems to be the current trend, I thought I’d share with you some books that can help you explore your Dominant side. In no particular order, here are some books that explore various elements and aspects of Dominance (and submission):

 Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas

See my video review of Urban Tantra here>>>>

Barbara will be in London next month teaching her Urban Tantra Professional Training Program. Find out more about that here>>>>

 Radical Ecstasy by Dossie Easton

 Playing Well With Others by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams

 The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren

 The Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy

Whether you’re feeling Dominant or not, I’d love to hear what themes are coming up for you in your sexual journey at the moment. Email me at rebecca@thesexualalchemist.com and tell me what’s going on for you right now. I look forward to hearing from you!

Other Posts You Might Enjoy

Personas And Archetypes – Magical Ways To Expand Your Sexual Horizons>>>>

101 Things That Might Happen In A Sexual Alchemy Session>>>>


Empower Your Erection


If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, then email me at rebecca@thesexualalchemist.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

If you enjoyed this article, please use the buttons below to share it with your friends or followers. Thanks so much!

RebeccaLowrieRebecca works with individuals and couples to help them have better sex lives. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sex life into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!