Aug 272015
 

Magical Monthly Morsels to help transform your sex lifeRebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, shares the 2nd edition of  ‘Magical Monthly Morsels’ to help transform your sex life.

Welcome to the 2nd edition of Magical Monthly Morsels! Last month I said I would do a 3-month experiment of publishing a monthly roundup of articles related to sex, sexuality, intimacy and relationships. Here is your second dose!
A little reminder…

  • As before, I’ve read, or at least scanned, all of them and chosen the ones that I feel may have value for you.
  • I may or may not agree completely with each article, but if I feel it’s interesting, offers a unique point of view, is a bit of fun or would serve you to expand your sexuality in some way, then I’ll include it.
  • You can read all of them, some or none of them – whatever works for you! These are random and not in any particular order. I’ll do one more monthly round up next month and then you can tell me if you’d like more. 

Magical Monthly Morsels to help transform your sex life

Here’s this month’s ‘Magical Monthly Morsels’ for you:

1. Article in the Guardian about some recent sexual fetish research. It appears that these academics were surprised to find that there are ‘few limits to erotic desire’. Silly academics!

2. Sex with Robots is predicted to be the ‘norm’ in 50 years. Not sure what to make of this! What do you think?

3. Results from a survey of 500 straight women about what bothers them in bed. Interesting results.

4. Eye-opening article where 24 people share the ‘weirdest’ places they’ve masturbated.

5. Is Conscious Kink For Everybody? A great article by my dear friend and colleague, Seani Love.

6. Short article about how watching porn affects your brain. Obviously there are lots of kinds of porn, not all ‘bad for you’, so this is a very generalised view, not looking at any nuances at all.

7. Why men can’t be friends with women they fancy. This is a FANTASTIC article, one I wish I’d written myself. When I posted it on my Facebook page it had over 4000 views!

8. Good article about mistakes you might be making in your online dating profile.

9. Great article about how music can give you a skin orgasm (although I’d say the feeling they’re talking about goes right through the body, not just the skin.

10. Raising awareness about disability and sexuality, this woman posed for sexy pics to make a point.

11. 10 Lessons about the female orgasm. Not all great suggestions, but a few good’uns.

12. The most beautiful vulvas in nature. Ok, she calls them vaginas, but they’re vulvas and they’re beautiful.

13. Good article about gender stereotypes by the lovely Nick Clement who I had the pleasure to meet and work with recently.

14. How to have sex like you mean it – a fantastic article by the lovely Cyndi Darnell whose Atlas of Erotic Anatomy I told you about last week.

15. Another article about sex and technology.

16. And finally, here’s the most recent articles I’ve posted on my blog:

Personas And Archetypes – Magical Ways To Expand Your Sexual Horizons

Too Tired For Sex? 4 Tips To Maintain Intimacy And Connection

Hope you find something enjoyable, educational or interesting amongst these articles. Would love to hear from you about what you’d like to see more of. Drop me an email at rebecca@thesexualalchemist.com and tell me what’s up for you right now.

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If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, then email me at rebecca@thesexualalchemist.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

If you enjoyed this article, please comment and use the buttons below to share it with your friends or followers. Thanks so much!

RebeccaLowrieRebecca works with individuals and couples to help them have better sex lives. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sex life into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!

Aug 192015
 

Too Tired For Sex?

 

 

 

 

Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, says it’s normal to feel too tired for sex sometimes and shares 4 tips to help you maintain intimacy and connection.

Have you ever been feeling all turned on and in the mood for love only to discover that your partner is just too tired? With busy lives, work, kids and all the other things that require our time and energy, chances are that this has happened to you.

Perhaps you were the one who was too tired. Perhaps you’re both too tired. It’s normal and bound to happen at some point during a long-term relationship.

How do you keep the intimacy alive and the flames burning when one or both of you are just too tired to get physical?

Here are 4 tips to help you maintain your intimacy and connection, even when your energy levels don’t quite match your desires:

  1. Communicate – If you’re the one feeling too tired, let your partner know that you love them and of course, still desire them, but currently don’t have the energy to get super active. If you want to, you could negotiate other ways to be intimate and connect sensually. If you’re the one being told, ‘No, I’m too tired’, then listen with an open heart. Listen to what your partner is actually saying rather than twisting their words. Sometimes, instead of hearing your partner’s truth about being tired, you just hear all the rejection you ever had in your whole life. Stay present. Allow yourself to see that your partner isn’t rejecting you, they are being true to their own needs at that time. That’s wonderful! They are saying Yes to themselves! If one or both of you regularly feels too tired, have a discussion about that. Take turns talking about how it feels, without placing or taking blame. It can feel very vulnerable to say that you’re too tired for sex. Speak and listen with compassion. Learning to speak your truth and also to hear what’s really being said will keep things clear between you.
  1. Be patient – with yourself and your partner.
  1. Reframe your ideas of ‘sex’ and find other ways to connect – Get creative. If you’re the one that’s too tired, be clear about your boundaries and what you may or may not have to offer. If you are the one who’s raring to go, be open to getting your needs met in a different way. Here are some things you could try instead of full-on penetrative sex:
  • Masturbate in front of your partner, while they stroke your hair and love on you.
  • Get comfy and kiss, deeply and passionately – without any expectation for things to go further.
  • Hold each other close and watch a film you both love.
  • Curl up together and tell each other fantasies you’d like to explore another time.
  • Slow dance and breathe each other in with love.
  • Slow, sensual oral sex.
  • Stroke each other’s bodies with love and full presence.
  1. If the tiredness is a long-term issue, look at how you can make some simple but effective changes to your life – 
  • Take any small steps you can to reduce stress. What things can you easily change to allow more time for relaxation and rest?
  • Make sure to eat healthily and get some exercise. Good, nutritious food is fuel for the body and mind and so is exercise. It will actually give you more energy!
  • Learn some simple breathing techniques to calm you down and help you relax.
  • Switch off the telly or computer at least half an hour before bedtime. Try to get some early nights or late mornings until you feel rested.
  • Learn to say NO. Sometimes we feel pressured to always say yes to things – to doing that extra bit of work, going out in the evening, helping a friend, etc, when what we really need is to look after ourselves.
  • If the tiredness persists over a long period of time, pop into your doctor’s for a check-up.

Most of all, remember that you are a team. [bctt tweet=”You have to work together to make the relationship work well and to keep intimacy open and flowing.”] What affects one of you will affect both of you and the relationship. Help each other to stay open and present to the current situation and find a way forward.

How do you navigate these times? With love, care and commitment.

Related Posts:

Get your FREE eBook, ‘5 Steps To Being A Better Lover – Tonight!’>>>>

Expand Your Orgasmic Possibilities>>>>


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If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, then email me at rebecca@thesexualalchemist.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

If you enjoyed this article, please use the buttons below to share it with your friends or followers. Thanks so much!

RebeccaLowrieRebecca works with individuals and couples to help them have better sex lives. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sex life into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!

Aug 052015
 

Personas and archetypes – Magical ways to expand your sexual horizons

Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, discusses personas and archetypes and how working with them can help you to explore and expand your sexual horizons.

In the workshops I’ve run and in my private sessions, I absolutely love to work with personas and archetypes to help people learn more about themselves as sexual beings. Using personas and archetypes gives people permission to explore the places in them that might otherwise feel unfamiliar, powerful, ‘yucky’, dangerous, too much, too sexual, exciting and all kinds of other things they might have difficulty accessing or expressing.

The Costume Shop

Over the last few years, in some of the workshops I’ve run, I presented an exercise that was called ‘The Costume Shop’. It was a fun, playful, sexy and often very illuminating way to get people to explore different aspects of their ‘sexual selves’.

Several hours after teaching it at a particular festival a woman came running across the field towards me saying, ‘Thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU!’ She caught up with me and told me that I’d changed her and her husband’s sex life forever and that they were both over the moon!

In the workshop, as we played with different personas, she had discovered, for the first time ever, her ‘inner Dominatrix’ – a part of her that had until then eluded her but that her husband had always hoped would blossom. She had discovered a new, unknown part of herself and allowed it to open her up to new possibilities.

After running the exercise successfully for a few years, I started to teach with a colleague, Seani Love, and we included it in some of our workshops. Only this time we expanded on it.

Now, instead of just trying on the ‘costume’ of different sexual personas, we guided people to invite the archetype or persona to rise up from within, to come express itself through this willing person. It is a very different feeling and process to just ‘trying it on’ for fun.

This made the exercise a lot deeper – more fun for some and more challenging for others. Either way it was a great teacher and way to find different parts of your self, especially your sexual self, that had been hidden or forgotten about, suppressed or not yet discovered. It was always very very powerful. Each archetype or persona brings it’s own flavour and wisdom.

Personas vs archetypes

The difference between a ‘persona’ and an ‘archetype’ is not an exact science and they definitely cross over in places. However, generally speaking, a persona could be said to be an exaggeration of a personality trait, a characteristic or a role that someone might play in their life. An archetype is a more of a universal pattern that exists in the collective consciousness, something that could be recognised across cultures and societies, often embedded in our subconscious.

Seani would also separate out what he called Godforms. These would be the Gods and Goddesses of various cultures and myths, the Divine Beings, not necessarily related to any religion, but more of a spiritual nature.

Each persona, archetype and Godform has a ‘light’ side and a ‘shadow’ side. Each side is equally important and can teach us something about ourselves. Although it may not appear so at first, no persona, archetype or Godform is intrinsically good or bad. They just are what they are and offer us an amazing opportunity to know ourselves better and deeper, to open up and expand ourselves, our sexual selves and our experiences in the world.

Examples of personas:

  • The busy bee
  • The ‘good girl’ or ‘good boy’
  • The Sacred Slut
  • The intellectual
  • The Dominatrix or submissive
  • The ‘know-it-all’

Examples of archetypes:

  • The Father or Mother
  • The Trickster or Fool
  • The Innocent
  • The Hero or Villain
  • The Rebel
  • The Lover

Examples of Godforms:

  • Shiva or Shakti
  • Isis, Osiris or Horus
  • Kali
  • Pan
  • Aphrodite

Private Sessions

In my private sessions I love encouraging people to explore different parts of themselves using personas, archetypes and Godforms as a map. Often these aspects will arise naturally as we clear whatever has been blocking them in the past. It could be a part of a person that needs deeper healing, connection and often, sexual expression. Sometimes it’s obvious why a particular persona or archetype has come up and other times it’s a surprise.

Sometimes we decide in advance which persona or archetype we’d like to work with (and why) and then together we invite these aspects to come out – to ask for what they need. We can then use touch, connection, movement, breath, sound, sexual intimacy and more to nurture, feed and encourage them.

This allows a person to expand beyond their conditioning, to learn more about their full, true self, to receive healing to specific parts of themselves, to awaken dormant parts, to be witnessed, to take their power back and much more.

Sometimes a part comes forward that wants healing, holding and loving. Sometimes it is a part that has particular desires and wants to explore having those met. Sometimes we are guided through different rituals or ways to integrate the ‘persona’ with the person. I never know for sure exactly what might happen, but some kind of magic always unfolds.

I’ve seen people uncover lost parts of themselves, remember ancient desires and fantasies, discover parts of themselves they never even knew existed and find their way back to empowerment – both sexually and generally, through exploring and playing with personas and archetypes.

Venturing into these places in yourself, opening them up and exploring them in a safe, held space allows you to know yourself better, to have access to deeper parts of yourself, to have more inner resources and access to deep wisdom.

Exploring your sexual self through personas and archetypes can give you permission to expand your sexual wings, to try new things and meet new parts of yourself. It can open up doors to whole new realms of sexual possibility and pleasure.

Integrating these powerful parts of yourself can make you more confident, more whole, more sure of who-you-really-are, more connected to yourself, your lovers and the world in general.


Empower Your Erection


If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, then email me at rebecca@thesexualalchemist.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!

If you enjoyed this article, please comment and use the buttons below to share it with your friends or followers. Thanks so much!

RebeccaLowrieRebecca works with individuals and couples to help them have better sex lives. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sex life into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!