Rebecca Lowrie, The Sexual Alchemist, shares excerpts from her digital program for men who want to Empower Their Erections – The Transform Your Sex Life Series Program: Empowering Your Erection
Erectile dysfunction is an awful name for something that isn’t really a ‘dysfunction’ at all. It may appear to be a ‘dysfunction’ at first, but it is actually your body’s way of getting your attention.
There is usually something else going on, perhaps on an emotional or other level, which is actually behind the erectile dysfunction. I will say more about this later.
Some men may experience erectile dysfunction due to medical issues, such as having his prostate removed. Sometimes it might not be possible to get a full erection back. However, it is always possible to learn new ways to experience giving and receiving pleasure with your body. Erectile dysfunction is also sometimes known as E.D. or impotence. From now on, I’ll refer to it as E.D.
Typically, E.D. is when a man has difficulty getting and/or maintaining his erection. He might be able to get an erection in some situations and not others. For example he might have little or no trouble getting an erection on his own, but then have difficulty when he’s with a partner or lover. Or he might find it easy to get an erection, but not to sustain it, as he would like. This might happen just once or twice or can be an ongoing, long-term issue.
Even if a man has experienced E.D. just once, it can continue to cause a lot of stress and worry for him. Unfortunately we have this myth in our society that says that a man ‘should’ be able to get a big strong hard-on whenever he wants and ‘should’ be able to maintain it until he and his partner are fully satisfied. It is myths like this that cause so many men to feel inadequate and full of shame and fear around sexuality.
These feelings of inadequacy and shame lead to a lack of confidence, fear of being in a sexual situation and to always feeling ‘less than’. Not a good place to be! Especially as these feelings then radiate out into the rest of your life.
I’ve worked with hundreds of men over the years that tell me they have stopped initiating sex with their wives, girlfriends or lovers, or they’ve stopped looking for a partner. They have pretty much given up on sex altogether just because of the fear and shame they are feeling in regards to their ability to get or maintain an erection. This just leads to further shame and guilt and a downward spiral that isn’t good for anyone.
Many health professionals believe that E.D. can be caused by or is a sign of cardiovascular problems, high blood pressure, neurological problems, prostate cancer and more. I would beg to differ. I would say that all of these health issues, including the E.D., are part of a bigger picture. Usually there is a more personal, emotional, mental or spiritual cause that affects the erection as well as the physical health. Rather than E.D. being caused by or a sign of these things, I would say that all of these things together, including the E.D., are symptoms of something else going on in the system.
Our bodies have an extremely intelligent feedback system that lets us know when we are not paying attention to something in our lives (which could be mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually) or when something we think we believe in doesn’t line up with our greater Truth. You might know or feel intuitively that sex is a wonderful thing, a beautiful way to express yourself, and that pleasure is really good for you. However most of us grow up being told that sex, our bodies, and intimacy is shameful and that pleasure is something you have to earn.
When these negative, false messages get ingrained in us (and they do, on physical and energetic levels) it has a massive effect on how we live our lives and can eventually affect our health.
So it’s very likely that your E.D. is the Universe’s (Great Spirit, Divine Intelligence, Source, whatever word or concept works for you, it’s all the same) way of showing you where there’s a part of you that is holding on to fear, shame or guilt handed down by some source outside of you. Some outside authority that you thought knew better than you. Some part of you that you don’t love, a part of you that is experiencing anything other that perfect alignment with your magnificent self. It’s saying, ‘Hey, pay attention; I’ve been trying to tell you something for your growth and evolution. I love you.’
If you’re inspired and would like to book a Sexual Alchemy session, then email me at email@example.com and tell me what you’re interested in. I look forward to hearing from you!
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Rebecca works with individuals and couples to help them have better sex lives. Using various forms of conscious sexuality, including tantra and conscious kink, Rebecca can help you transform your sex life into something deliciously juicy, delightfully fun and ecstatically blissful!